I* recently came across an interesting article in the Guardian (Australian edition) about the impact of the words we use, particularly when we are trying to negotiate and influence others. This can happen in many situations, from tense life threatening hostage negotiations to discussions about household chores with your children and teenagers. I was struck by the articles relevance to the language we use in Motivational Interviewing (MI) and the recommendations in the article for keeping the channels of communication open between parties and for moving the conversation forward.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Elizabaeth Stokoe, a professor in social interaction at Loughborough University, examined language patterns in a wide range of human interactions, from call centres to police crisis hotlines. This research identified that certain words or phrases have the power to change the course of a conversation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
For instance, consider the following two statements, where there has been conflict between two people:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
\u2018Would you agree to come to a meeting with John?\u2019
\u2018Would you be willing to come to a meeting with John?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Which statement do you think is more likely to be positively received?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Stokoe found that people responded more positively to the use of the word willing<\/em>. It seems that people do want to be seen as being willing to move forward. Her recommendation is to use it when someone is engaging in sustain talk (resistance) e.g. \u2018I know it may not be your first choice, but would you be willing to meet with John on Tuesday?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n This approach has a parallel in using MI. Consider for instance the following: Another challenge is how to respond to the \u2018yes but…\u2019 conversation. In the same newspaper article, Kendall (2016) addresses the \u2018yes but\u2019 problem.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Listen out for \u2018yes but\u2019 conversations, they are often circular and in a MI context indicate we are starting to argue for change with the client, which is not a helpful strategy. These circular arguments are frustrating for both parties and lead nowhere. Instead consider asking the question \u2018what do you need?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n We recommend you read the article in full and consider some of the suggested strategies, click here<\/a> for the link.<\/p>\n\n\n\n To see Elizabeth Stokoe taking about her work around language, watch this:<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Client: \u2018I\u2019m just not sure that I\u2019m ready to do what the doctor has suggested about my problem\u2019
Therapist: \u2018Right now you\u2019re unsure about being ready to take the doctor\u2019s advice, what do you think you would be willing to do at the moment?\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n